However lacking in milonga etiquette are the dancers around him, however clumsy his partner, a good salon dancer stays smooth and unfazed. He takes obstructions in his stride, working them in to a dance of humour and grace. As in tango, so in life. And life runs on words.

The word “tema” means theme or motif. It’s used in music, academia and art. “Temas verdes” are green issues, people with a ‘tema para un rato’ have a lot to discuss. I was in Buenos Aires the first time “el tema es” caught my attention. It conjoured artistic and cinematic themes, grand plans, beautiful images and opened a world of boundless possibilities. But that’s not how it’s used at all.

Far from the precursor to a flight of imaginative fantasy it’s the build up-to a kind of excuse. The taxi man used it at midnight when I asked why we were going in circles; “el tema es… I don’t know know where the milonga is”. The police sergeant used it when; after a four hour interview, he wouldn’t give a crime number for our insurance claim “el tema es… it’s not in our precinct’s jurisdiction”. My porteña friend used it when I asked if anyone ever uses it in a positive way; “el tema es…people use it when they’re trying to say something they know you’ll not like”.

To make life the smoothest dance you can, treat the phrase like a vampire would garlic. Avoid it where possible and be graceful when you discover you can’t.